I love this story, Hazel! I too loved your description of the mall and how you personified it. I love how you wrote it as a simple story yet with a deep impact. The cadence of the story and sentence structure reinforce the simplicity. Yet there is depth to the story. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with the world!
What a wonderful story, Hazel. I have a friend named David Valencia who is a young filmmaker in Mexico City: these are the type of stories he uses to make his films. He has a Facebook page you can check out. Would you mind if I share this story with him? Keep up the good work.
I love this story, Hazel! I too loved your description of the mall and how you personified it. I love how you wrote it as a simple story yet with a deep impact. The cadence of the story and sentence structure reinforce the simplicity. Yet there is depth to the story. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with the world!
Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
Thanks, Hazel: If David decides to do something with your story, I'll let you know.
Happy "Day of the Dead!"
Rob in Yautepec
What a wonderful story, Hazel. I have a friend named David Valencia who is a young filmmaker in Mexico City: these are the type of stories he uses to make his films. He has a Facebook page you can check out. Would you mind if I share this story with him? Keep up the good work.
Rob in Yautepec
I don't mind if you share it. I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
Good story! I love the little description of the mall, the general dedication of the main character, and the way the last lines echo the beginning.
Thank you! I didn't plan for the last line to echo the first... but I'm happy if it looks intentional!